Black Wednesday: The Movie

An opportunity seems to be presenting itself for British acting talent to go on winning awards for ever, solely off the back of latterday dramatisations of historic talking points.

As such, clearly a successor project to The Queen is required as soon as possible. And the ideal scenario is surely a screen recreation of the events leading up to and surrounding Black Wednesday.

Heading the cast as John Major would be, of course, Peter Davidson: perfect for playing the put-upon open-faced everyman very much the victim of events and other people's machinations. Norman Lamont would have to be somebody with a penchant for playing unlikeable buffoons; Warren Clarke seems the most agreeable option here. Michael Heseltine, meanwhile, would need to be a smooth charmer. In other words, Peter Egan.

As for supporting cast, Stephen Fry would make a suitably capricious Kenneth Clarke, Paula Wilcox could be Norma Major (recreating the screen partnership of Fiddlers Three) and David Tennant could fatten-up De Niro-style to play John Smith.

Finally there'd be a cameo from Kelvin McKenzie as himself for the bit where John Major rings him up and Kelvin informs him of how "I've got this big bucket of shit and I'm about to tip it all over your head."