21 February, 2007

What a munter

Among the scores of reasons why the 1980s was the best decade ever, its crop of strikingly exhilarating swearwords is rarely mentioned.

There are truly some fine expletives which, unlike other less palatable aspects of that decade (Steve Wright), have virtually passed out of existence. This is a shame, especially as today's profanities don't have half as much imagination or playfulness as those hailing from 20 or so years ago.

See if you can work one of the following into a conversation during the next 24 hours.

1) PISS ARTIST
As in: "That Steve Wright, he's a right piss artist." If you prefer, an alternative is to substitute the adjective for a noun in order to deploy the sentiment by way of a condemnation of something not being quite up to standards, i.e. "I had to listen to that Steve Wright for an hour while I was stuck in traffic, which was a right pisser".

2) DIPSHIT
As in: "I see that dipshit Steve Wright is somehow responsible for the most popular programme on Radio 2."

3) KNOBHEAD
A slightly less petulant example of 2), as in: "I reckon that Steve Wright is a bit of knobhead."

4) BELL-END
This has good comical as well as caustic potential. For example: "That Steve Wright! What a fucking bell-end!"

5) Not a word as such, or indeed at all, but a gesture. Namely, flicking the Vs at someone by dint of pretending to "scratch" your face or rub each of your eyes using two fingers simultaneously. As in the kind of gesture you'd have been minded to make when sitting in the audience for The Steve Wright People Show.

3 comments:

Rich said...

Where I come from all of those expressions are in constant usage.

David Pascoe said...

When he was interviewed on "Parkinson" several years ago, Paul McCartney told a tale of how he'd been recently driving through Liverpool and while waiting at traffic lights, did a bit of people watching. Only for the person he was watching to do number 5 at him.

Anonymous said...

"Only for the person he was watching to do number 5 at him." A what?